The Mouse House

QotD: Finders Keepers

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 05:40:16 -0800

What's the strangest thing you've ever found in the street?

The strangest thing I have ever found in the street was a baby alligator. Must have lost his way back to the water. He had traffic all tied up. Two men got out of their cars and captured him and took him back to the marsh about 100 ft from the road. Everyone applauded and drove off.

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QotD: Reality TV Star

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 13:37:23 -0800

If you had to be on a reality television show, which one would you pick?

I hardly ever watch TV, so I really don't know much about the reality shows. I would have to pick " So You Think You Can Dance." I am a very good dancer. My Calif neighbor was a choreographer and we use to work out together. She taught me some great moves. Dancing keeps your body tuned, limber and graceful. I love it. I dance while cleaning house and when I am walking down the street. I live in my own little world most of the time. :) I'm happy...

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Who Said This?

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 05:29:02 -0700

A friend of mine sent this to me and I did not score 100%.

A little history lesson. If you don't know the answer make your best guess.
Answer all the questions before looking at the answers.

Who said it?

1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

A. Karl Marx
B. Adolph Hitler
C. Joseph Stalin
D. None of the above

2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the
few, and for the few...... And to replace it with shared responsibility for
shared prosperity."

A. Lenin
B. Mussolini
C. Idi Amin
D. None of the Above

3) "(We) ...can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something
has to be taken away from some people."

A. Nikita Khrushev
B. Josef Goebbels
C. Boris Yeltsin
D. None of the above

4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up
a little bit of their own ... in order to create this common ground."

A. Mao Tse Dung
B. Hugo Chavez
C. Kim Jong Il
D. None of the above

5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed."

A. Karl Marx
B. Lenin
C. Molotov
D. None of the above

6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most
profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched."

A. Pinochet
B. Milosevic
C. Saddam Hussein
D. None of the above

Scroll down for answers

Answers

(1) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004
(2) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2007
(3) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(4 ) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(5) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(6) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005

Be afraid, Be very afraid!!

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These numbers should really upset you...

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 04:15:12 -0700

So often, we get caught up in a debate over political semantics and end up ignoring the hard-shell realities of what we're talking about. According to mmigrationCounters.com, here are some of the realities that the Flake-Gutierrez Bill would airbrush out of the picture:

Number of Illegal Aliens in the Country

       20,807,645

Money Wired to Mexico City since January, 2006

$ 22,213,001,672.00

Cost of Social Security Services for Illegal Aliens since 1996

$397,450,739,563.00

Number of Children of Illegal Aliens in Public Schools

          3,958,789

Cost of Illegal Aliens in K-12 Since 1996:

$ 13, 965,063,431.00

Number of Illegal Aliens Incarcerated

            332,594

Cost of Incarcerations Since 2001

$    1,398,127,429.00

Number of Illegal Aliens Fugitives

            642,799

Skilled Jobs Taken by Illegal Aliens

         9,872,838

Figures can trick your eyes. Take particular note that items 2,3,5, and 7 reflect BILLIONS not millions of dollars -- and that item 3 exceeds one-third of a TRILLION dollars.

Can you imagine how much it will cost taxpayers if we triple the number of Illegals entering this country!!



So, What's in a Billion?.......

Granted................. this is from the US!

The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" in a casual manner, think about whether you want the "politicians" spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is  spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division . .

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number, what does it mean?

a. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.00.

b. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.00.

c. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.00.

Washington, D.C. .... HELLO!!! .. Are all your calculators broken??

This is too true.........And these numbers don't lie.........and, it's not funny!!!

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Vacations Are Great...

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 03:44:54 -0700

I have been on vacation for the past 3 weeks with rare opportunities to blog or check my e-mail. Before this vacation, I was addicted to my computer and thought I couldn't live without it. After my vacation, I realized it wasn't as important as I had previously thought. I guess that's a good thing.

The 2nd best thing about my vacation was; I didn't hear, read or talk politics. That alone was refreshing. I was surrounded by good people with positive attitudes and no complaints. It was like being in a fantasy world. At least I know that family is more important than anything money can buy.

My sister's new home is almost finished. It is beautiful and spacious. It will be ready in time for her husband's arrival home from Iraq, (a medic) and to enjoy Christmas. I've been invited to join them, but I have decided to get my own place.

My ring is ready, so, I will be getting engaged very shortly. Life is great!

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Monday Chuckles

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 03:19:35 -0700

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts…

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together.

"Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter. "I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready... We can't take you in and we can't send you back..."Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer, this is St. Peter. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for them. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a few of days. What d'ya say?"

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.

However, two days later... St. Peter got a call.

"Pete, this is Lucifer. Hey, you gotta come get these guys. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning."

________________________________________________________________________

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally
behavior that was going on. So He called one of His angels to go to
earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on
Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not" God thought for a
moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down another angel to get
a second opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a
time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes,
it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being
good." God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5 % who were
good, because He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something
to help them keep going. Do you know what the e-mail said?

No?

Okay, just checking with you. I didn't get one either...

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Polly is a Prostitute

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 11:22:52 -0700

This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest asked.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."

"Thank you," said the lady.

The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"

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QotD: Life Lesson

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 09:19:26 -0700

What experience or moment in your life have you learned the most from?
Submitted by AngieK.

Well, I haven't had all that many experiences, yet. So far, life has been very, very good to me. So, I guess it might be when I get married and have children.

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He's A Prick Painter or Pricasso for Short

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 03:31:40 -0700

I found this short story on Yahoo about a guy named Tim Patch, who calls himself Pricasso because he paints with his prick. No lie, his prick. There are just too many visuals that are running through my head to write coherently, so forgive me. The article said he had painted many famous people including Bush and the Queen of England. I wonder if they sat for their painting or he just painted them when he was horny.

At least we know he is Bi-sexual. Does he take Cialis to get that 4 hour erection? I wonder how long his paintbrush is…
How can anyone keep a straight face and watch him paint?
Does he paint fast and hard or slow and easy? or both? What happens if the paint dries on his prick? Has he ever painted a self-portrait of him painting? Did he enhance his paintbrush, just a little? If he paints a lot is he getting callouses on his paintbrush? How does he paint eyelashes on faces with eyelashes being so fine? Is his paintbrush that tiny? With all the movement required with painting, what does he do when he reaches a climax? Or, is that his signature?

I can’t stop laughing, so I will leave the rest of the remarks in the capable hands of my readers. I’m sure all of you can come up with some goodies.

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QotD: Paying Pro Athletes

nobody@vox.com(The Madmouser) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 04:49:52 -0700

Do professional athletes make too much money, or do they deserve every penny? Why?

I believe athletes make too much money for what they do and the level they do their job. How many average people working regular jobs can keep their jobs if they only do a good job 25% of the time? Baseball players make millions of dollars a year to bat the ball at 250 - 300 % of the time.

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Number of Illegal Aliens in the Country	20,807,645
Money Wired to Mexico City since January, 2006	$ 22,213,001,672.00
Cost of Social Security Services for Illegal Aliens since 1996	$397,450,739,563.00
Number of Children of Illegal Aliens in Public Schools	3,958,789
Cost of Illegal Aliens in K-12 Since 1996:	$ 13, 965,063,431.00
Number of Illegal Aliens Incarcerated	332,594
Cost of Incarcerations Since 2001	$ 1,398,127,429.00
Number of Illegal Aliens Fugitives	642,799
Skilled Jobs Taken by Illegal Aliens	9,872,838