Who would have thought there would be a Beauty Contest on Capitol Hill? No, they didn’t walk the runway or change from evening gowns to skimpy bikinis, but The Hill newspaper somehow managed to select the top 50 beautiful people in Washington. I read the list and viewed all the photos twice and didn’t see Hillary’s name or photo. Hillary even wore a blouse that showed cleavage according to Tim Russert on Meet the Depressed to show she was womanly, but it didn’t impress The Hill.
Rep. Brad Ellsworth was #1 on the list. Nancy Pelosi was #4. I guess those thousands of dollars for plastic surgery, botox injections and whatever else self indulgent people do, paid off. Poor Hillary couldn’t make the top 50. I guess The Hill isn’t into pear shaped females or expressions that could kill from 50 feet. This is just more evidence that Bill is not particular when it comes to women. He’ll do any women he can. They say the homely ones make better wives because they are so grateful. I think that is cruel and mean-spirited. What do they say about homely men, nothing. Not fair…
It is up on the front page, above the fold, with the relevant political news. Yeah, I would place it as equally important as world peace, and the war on terror, wouldn’t you? Hey, beautiful politicians are hard to come by, so give them their proper respect.
O.K., everyone sing now, “There he is, Mr. America, There he is, My ideal.”
When was the last time you felt butterflies in your stomach?
When I was ready to repel down the side of a four-story building. After the 1st go, I couldn't wait to do it again. It was very exciting.
Who is your favorite wizard of all time?
Of course, the Wizard of Oz. I love that movie. Watch it every year around the Easter holiday.
FAREWELL, MY HERO
Before my eyes opened, I could hear his voice
resonating with much joy.
“God, she’s so beautiful, but she’s so tiny”.
So, next time, we’ll have a boy.
At first, he was slightly timid and awkward
how to pick me up and hold on to me.
But the love in his voice, the smile on his face
was all that I needed to hear and see.
There were too many nights I cried aloud,
emitting ear piercing alarms.
He came to my aid, ‘til I fell asleep
held in the safety of his arms.
When he held me tightly against his broad chest
the rhythm of his heart calmed my fears.
The purity of his love, comforted me
as he gently wiped away my tears.
He was always, always there for me,
He never let me down.
‘Cause, I was Daddy’s Little Angel
and he was my funny Clown.
He’d make funny faces ‘til my tears turned to smiles;
he’d twirl me around ‘til we both fell down.
I’d beg for horsey rides that would last a long while
and smiles and laughter soon replaced my frown.
Oh, the bliss, I shall never forget
the bedtime stories: the three little pigs,
the big bad wolf
and the house made of twigs.
He promised nothing bad would ever happen to me.
I believed every word he said.
And why not, he always told the truth, he would not lie,
He was my Hero, He was my Dad.
My hero never missed a dance recital,
a school play or dinner at home.
He worked very hard for us, sometimes two jobs.
But he never left us alone.
My dad taught me how to ride my two wheel bike,
catch my first fish, and drive the family car.
He told me many times, how much he loved me
and I would always be his shining star.
It must have been most painful for my dad
when I went on my first date.
He tried to smile, but his lips quivered slightly,
when he said, “Now, don’t be late”.
As time moved on and I became a young lady,
Tragedy struck, my Mother passed away.
The woman we loved, honored and adored was gone
I wasn’t sure I would make it through the day.
But, my loving Dad, my Hero, was there for me again.
He set aside his pain, to comfort me, just as he always did.
He wrapped me in his big strong arms, ‘til I felt safe inside.
And with his hand gently wiped away my tears, till they did subside.
I remember once when I was almost seven
after listening to a fairy tale about granting wishes and such.
I asked my Dad, what he would wish for, and he replied.
My wish was granted, I have you my lovely daughter to treasure so much.
Now, I sit at your side, straining to hear your faint heartbeat
I want you to know how much I love you and always will.
Farewell my Hero, my inspiration, my gallant knight,
You will be with me always, even after your heart goes still.
BALAD AIR BASE, Iraq (AP) - The airplane is the size of a jet fighter, powered by a turboprop engine, able to fly at 300 mph and reach 50,000 feet. It's outfitted with infrared, laser and radar targeting, and with a ton and a half of guided bombs and missiles.
The Reaper is loaded, but there's no one on board. Its pilot, as it bombs targets in Iraq, will sit at a video console 7,000 miles away in Nevada.
The full report is on the Drudge Report. No cockpit window looks strange, but she is a real beauty. With more and more of these drones, we will be able to save many lives in combat. The troops will be doing a lot of clean up action. I love it. They didn’t say exactly when they would be put in use, but they plan on using them in Iraq. I bet they are there now. I’d like to see a demonstration. Bet it’s awesome. I love technology and we are the best. Way to go, USA.
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation
were born in 1987.
They are too young to remember the first space shuttle blowing
up on liftoff.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?'
I'd walk a mile for a Camel or 'de plane, Boss, de plane'
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
1967: Long hair
2007: Longing for hair
1967: KEG
2007: EKG
1967: Acid rock
2007: Acid reflux
1967: Moving to California because it's cool
2007: Moving to Arizona because it's warm
1967: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2007: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
1967: Seeds and stems
2007: Roughage
1967: Hoping for a BMW
2007: Hoping for a BM
1967: Going to a new, hip joint
2007: Receiving a new hip joint
1967: Rolling Stones
2007: Kidney Stones
1967: Being called into the principal's office
2007: Calling the principal's office
1967: Disco
2007: Costco
1967: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2007: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
1967: Passing the drivers' test
2007: Passing the vision test
1967: Whatever
2007: Depends
wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he
buys them, wears them home, walking proudly he walks into the house and
says to his wife 'Notice anything different about me?'
Margaret looks him over, 'Nope.'
Frustrated Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses and walks back
into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks,
a little louder this time 'Notice anything different NOW?'
Margaret looks up and says, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging
down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again
tomorrow.'
Furious, Bert yells, AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?
' Nope,' she replies. IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW
BOOTS!!!!!'
To which Margaret replies...
Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.'
If you could eat only 3 foods for the rest of your life, what would they be?
Submitted by formance.
1...Spaghetti
2...Potato Chips
3...Anything Chocolate
